Nomnomnomnom... eat those happy pills America it's time for another week of wage slavery! For those of you who still have jobs, here's some time-killers while you procrastinate away your morning.
Oprah: Today, millions of housewives begin sitting shiva for The Oprah Winfrey Show, which airs its last episodes this week. Christmas just won't ever be the same without Oprah's "Favorite Things." (NY Times)
Religion: Somehow, the State of Kentucky got $40 million in tax rebates to build a Noah's Ark Theme Park. It will have a replica of the Tower of Babel and a petting zoo, I shit you not. (AOL News)
Jersey Shore: Seaside Heights just wasn't enough. Snooki, The Situation & Co. are now terrorizing the population of Florence, Italy while getting their GTL on. (Perez Hilton)
Schwarzenegger LoveChild Watch: Jane Seymour tells CNN that she heard there's at least two more. At least. (CNN)
Sarah Palin: Did she buy a house in Arizona to use as a base for her 2012 Presidential campaign? (Arizona Republic)
Lady Gaga: How can you top a meat dress or arriving at the Grammys in a giant egg? Why, "giving birth" onstage during the season finale of Saturday Night Live! (Daily Mail)
Have a super week!