Help Wanted: Bogeyman

With Osama Bin Laden out of the picture, the U.S. propaganda machine needs a new bogeyman to demonize. That means the U.S. State Department and intelligence apparatus is seeking applications to be the next American Bogeyman! So, who will it be? Here's my Top 5 suggestions...

1. Ayman al-Zawahiri: OBL has always been a figurehead, but it's al-Zawahiri who really calls the shots in al-Qaeda. A former doctor, al-Zawahiri used to be the leader of Egyptian Islamic Jihad before they joined forces with al-Qaeda. He's #1 on the al-Qeada depth chart.


al-Zawahiri

2. Muammar Gaddafi: You gotta think that Gaddafi's sphincter tightened the second he heard about OBL's burial at sea. With OBL out of the picture, the Pentagon can pull troops off the front lines in Afghanistan and devote those precious resources to chasing down Gaddafi.

Gaddafi

3. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: War hawks in Washington have had a hard on for the President of Iran since 9/11. Rumors had been swirling for the last few years that Iran was next on the shopping list.


Ahmadinejad

4. Julian Assange: He's the proverbial virtual bogeyman because he can read all of your emails. Assange and his crew at WikiLeaks knows who's been naughty and who's been nice.


Assange

5. Donald Trump: OBL never should have hid out in Pakistan, he should have taken up refuge in Trump's horrendous hair piece, which has enough trunk space to hide OBL, all of his wives, and three body guards.


Trump