Friday, February 11, 2011

The Waffles Report: Global What?


The one thing that any researchers in our field of Fear needs to realize is that human stupidity normally points the way toward the truth. If there is some path that leads to the most fucked up event, then it is usually going to be true because humans are stupid.

Take "Global Warming" for instance. Everyone has been freaking out about how the world is becoming warmer. Until recently, we have been modifying our behavior to cool down the Earth. We're buying cars the emit less carbon and toned down our production facilities with cleaning devices. Well, let me tell you something: this is beyond fucking stupid.

Have you every heard of a "Hot Age" in the history of the whole fucking planet? No.

However, you have heard of a little something called an Ice Age, right? So why the hell are we trying to stop global warming? The next Ice Age is coming. If we kept up with global warming we could possibly avoid this catastrophic event and have a smooth transition to the next stage of planetary climate change.

Follow the path through people. The stupidest thing we as humans could possibly do is try and cool down the Earth. All we're succeeding in doing is ushering in the next Ice Age that much quicker. You fucking retards better reverse this trend now! Get a goddamn Hummer and drive it to your backyard when you rake the leaves. Crank up the pollution! Buy some fucking cows so they can fart more methane into the air! Otherwise your going to be dreaming of the days when we though there was global warming as your cold, withered cock tries to find ways to stay warm!

You heard it here first! Be warned.

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