Waffles Report: My Name is Waffles and I Know Things

I am lucky to be alive. The only reason the powers that be do not kill me is that nobody ever believes anything I say. It is a talent I have. I am here to talk to you about the biggest threat that faces us today. Pauly warns you about the CIA, Aliens, the Money Brokers but they are all small potatoes compared to the biggest enemy to humanity: The Catholic Church.

In order to convince you of the dangers I need to show you just how shrewd and cunning and organization they are. It is timely that Christmas has just ended as this is one of the biggest conspiracies of the Church. The true meaning of Christmas is priest boy sex. You see in the olden days it was not so easy to put a boy in a dress and spend some quality alone time with him. The people back then were a lot more wary than the sheeple we have today.

The Catholic church at the core has a group including all of the elected popes which is dedicated to power for the sake of power. It uses young boys to keep its members in line. I mean what better control over someone can you have than revealing that. It also needs these young boys to gain political control over secular leaders. What greater proof can you have for this than the fact that not one priest who was caught molesting boys was removed from the church? The inner circle protects itself.

In the olden days it was getting hard to keep a good supply of children coming in. I mean the inquisitions had solidified their power base. That in itself was an amazing plan. I mean go to church or die. Which one would you choose? Brilliant. One of the inner circle had one of the best ideas ever.

Unlike NAMBLA they needed to be liked by the mainstream. So they came up with a plan. It was so simple and yet so fiendishly clever: Santa Claus.

I mean seriously if some strange guy came up to you and told you to put your kid in his lap would you in a million years do it? Now, we brainwash the children into believing that toys depend on this and the parents have no fucking choice. The kids do not mind sacrificing some of their own as long as they get toys. The parents like the fact that they have extra levels to control their kids so they can do crack and watch fucking Oprah without little Tommy goddamn wanting to play the hundredth game of fucking Sorry. The priests who dress up as Santa’s now can have the children WAIT IN LINE to be put on their laps so they can rub one out. I mean it is so simple and so fucking brilliant that it scares the fuck out of me.

The last thing I will say is this. The reason these pervert assholes scare me the most is the end goal. I mean the CIA want you to be sheeple entertained by electronic gadgets and let them do whatever the fuck they want. The money brokers just want to make you poor and steal all your money. What is the end game for the church though? Apocalypse. I mean what better thing could happen for them? When the earth is mostly a burning cinder or millions have died in mysterious plague who do you turn to? The fucking all powerful invisible guy. The Church wants to annihilate like 70% of the worlds population and then install themselves as supreme rulers of the remaining ones. I think they have the think tanks to accomplish this. Catacombs under the Church in Rome with secret survival bunkers give them an easy way to wait out the worst of it.

With 2012 coming and the Church’s popularity on the decline do not be surprised if it is the Church that pushes the red button. Be afraid. Be very afraid.